IDIOT.

Being away for a few weeks - Is that long? Lesser communication - Is that gone? Damned. Hate it when I have to sigh and ponder over such silly stuff.



fion;
Tsk, I smoke weed!

ivan;
Um, isn't durex condom? :
ron;
NO, lol.

handsome guy;
I know, hahaha!

bert;
Hurhurr. I know your fetish! #1, take a straw. #2, places the tip at the pee bowl water. #3, sip.

ginaNOTCUTE;
Ya ya ya. I thought you told me you hated Eve? Tsk tsk!

eve;
Evolving to some party person soon? ;P

nd;
Haha, yea been a long time since I see you. How are you?

xiang;
lol, who?

grace;
Sunday, not Saturday!

Survey!

01.Your name -- Joanna Ying Ng *stouts*
02. Hobbies -- Talk, eat, sleep! ;D
03. Gender -- Male.
04. School -- NP!
05. Height -- 190cm. Bah, you are so short.
06. Horoscope -- Pisces.
08. Address -- SIXTH AVENUE. Hahaha.
09. Email -- spirit89@kuririnmail.com
10. Hair colour -- Black.
11. Eye colour -- PURPLE. Hahaha.
12. Skin colour -- Yellow, white... I don't know, really!
13. Right or left handed - I write with my toes!
14. Status -- Attached ;D
15. Siblings -- 9.
16. Last 3 digit of your hp no.-- 791
17.When's your Birthday -- 22nd February.
=================================
[[ haVe u,,, ]]
21. Tried smoking -- Nah. Unless they come in strawberry flavour, hahaha!
22. Drink alcohol -- *nods* Cheers!
23. Been hurt emotionally -- Nah, nobody hurts Mighty Jo!
24. Kept a secret from anyone -- Duh?
25. Been on stage -- Haha yea.

=================================
[[ faVorites ]]
26. Color - White, orange, black, brown.
27. Food -- Your fingers!
29. Number -- 7, 22.
30. Cartoons -- Spongebob.
32. Song -- Mari Kita. I'm so patriotic, can? Haha.
33. Movie -- Joanna Is So Adorable.
34. Subject -- Joanna Studies.
=================================
[[ rYt now,,, ]]
36. Wearing -- I'M NAKED. INTERESTED? Hahaha.
37. Hairstyle -- Short short short!
38. Looking at -- My boobs. HAHAHA, just kidding. At the screen!
39. Thinking of -- ...my hair?
40. Listening to -- Gei Wo Ni De Ai by Tank.
=====================
[[ dO u beLieVe in,,, ]]
41. Love -- Bah? *glares*
42. Faith -- *nods* It's all about faith!
43. Yourself -- Not really.
44. Ghosts -- YESSSSS.
45. Angels -- YESSSSSSS.

=================================
[[ in the Last 24 hOurs,,, ]]
46. Worn jeans -- Hee, nah.
47. Cleaned your room -- Nopes!
48. cried -- Big girls don't cry, lar.
49. met someone new - Sigh. No.
50. Last person I talk to on the phone -- Mummy?

=================================


[[ LoVe Lyf ]]

51. Do you believe in love -- NO.
52. Have a secret admirer -- NO.
53. Do you wanna get married -- *nods!* Am I contradicting myself? Hmmm.
55. How old you wanna be when you get
married- 24!
56. How old you wanna be when you have your kids- 25!
57. How many kids do you want -- FOURRRR.
58. Would you have kids before marriage -- You mean pre marital sex? TSK! NAH.
59. Do you have a Crush -- I crushed a bug today! ;D
60. What do you want most in a relationship-- Respect, trust, and stability.

61. Pink or Black -- White.
62. Kiss or hug -- Push. Haha, hug, lar.
64. Sunny or rainy -- Depends?
65. Chocolate or vanilla -- "
66. Hanging out or chillin -- Neither. Both kills anyway. Literally.
67. Music or TV -- BOTH!
68. Hamburger or Pizza -- Pasta.
69. Smile or Laughing -- Laugh! HOHOHO.
70. Sleeping or eating -- Eating though I sleep more than I eat.
71. Mc Donald's or KFC -- Mos Burger!
72. Silver or gold -- Copper.
73. Sunset or sunrise -- Sunless.
74. On phone or in person -- In MSN. Haha, in person, lar.
75. Diamonds or Pearls -- DIAMONDS!
76. Adidas or puma -- Nike.
77. Band members or models -- CHOIR members, hahaha,
78. Local or international Artist -- Internation, definitely ;P
79. sneakers or boots -- Boots.
80. barcari or tiger beer -- Neither.
81. Dunhill or Salem-- What's that?
82. clubbing or live music -- Live! Bam bam bam.
83. Johnny depp or Brad Pitt -- JD! ;D
84. angelina Jolie or Kate Hudson - Joanna Ying Ng.
85. colosal/epic or romantic comedy -- Romance comedy.
86. sexy/naughty or kind/plain -- Sexy and naughty! *tickles*
87. BMW or Mercedes -- Hotwheels.
88. incubus or maroon 5 -- Maroon 5. I'm such a typical Singaporean, can, lol.
90. long haired or bald -- Bald.
91. pop or rock - Pop.
92. beach or mountain - Land.
95. nokia or ericsson - Sony Eric'
96. 311 or hoobastank - Hoobastank! ROCKS.
97. Asia or America - Asia! We're smarter, leh.
98. tattoo or piercing - Piercing.
100.asking/answering -- Answering. I love talking though I ask more than I answer.


I know you are not interested; but do I look like I care? lol.

FRUSTRATION

Updates:










I'm too full of myself and now I'm digging a fool out of myself. How ironic. So many tasks, so many expectations, so many obligations... It's like you're falling but the pit doesn't seem to have an end. I'M SO FRUSTRATED, CAN? Sigh, but nobody seem to comprehand.



eve;
Omg, I almost died today. I NO LONGER LOVE ART. SUCKS.

bert;
What thing bhb, lol?

fangster;
Yea kinda blur but it's still nice! ;D

ginaNOTCUTE;
Nope what? LOL, mad girl!

daryl;
No one miss you, lar.

xiang;
Never MIA! Just don't frequent MSN that much anymore. Hee.

Silence of the lambs.

The best film I've watched so far:


I guess I was lucky to pick this film for my presentation next week. It thrills, it tears, and it emphasizes on someone's weaknesses and how forces are used to bend these weaknesses to make use of it. Awesome.

Stupid hair!

How I envy those people who have the ability in making themselves smarter and prettier.

From...



To...


See.

I guess I am only good in uglifying myself.

Yes, I snipped my hair - Again for the second time in the past two weeks. It look great when I was in the hairdresser's but now it looked like Maria's cheap hair-do.

*Screams*

Mum:
"Your hair very ugly, leh. Why you cut?"

-_-||
@#$%^&*

I know this post is very pointless. BAH.

Campus / Moblog.

Upon reading darling's blog, there's this sudden realization that I miss my Campus/ Mo' friends too. They're such fun people!


Carrie (xiaotu).
Thought I saw her in school. Hmmm...


Lynn (YOURStruly).
Gosh girl, skate skate skate skate! Loves. Anyway she's the girl at the right.


Huifang (fangster)!
Girl with attitude, full of fun, and beautiful ;D


Charlene (charsworld) and JacJac!
Wanted to meet up with char' but damn my curfew and me being underaged. Grr.


workingholic!
One big sweetie here.


Dimitre.
One dude who talk sense into Campus people, haha.


Janry!
Huge critique. Fun ass ;P


Mark (markccy).
He's obviously the only guy in the picture :)

And lastly...


DSJQ.
Can't find his picture, lar. So I substitute it with one of the uploaded picture from his photo album. Gong xi fa cai!

Missed you people.
<3

Am I a shield?

Ripped open what seem like malediction and choked on my own words. I was such a saboteur to myself. But somehow I have to fight back my tears and shallow believes. Once in a while it's nice to allow fear to overwhelm you 'cos it sometimes comes with joy.

It's been years since I felt so euphoric and powerful, like a broom sweeping off the coward in you, breaking off all locks with a huge blow and gives you freedom.

However all the storm folded my grace and caused a struggle between embracing and rejecting. I wonder, sometimes, if I was even made to shield in the first place when all these wash-and-tear's there to make me weak.

Love.

I'm not sure of how things were before all this happened, but I guess I still believe that love is beautiful - Somehow. Who says beautiful things doesn't have flaws? Roses have thorns, and too much sunshine burns.

To Xiang.

You don't get it, do you. Guess everything we ever said are just a huge load of generic lines not worth mentioning. The values friends should be sharing are not existing in ours, do you know that?

Just to let you know, what you saw and perceived and evaluated might not be right (or should I say, is not right). Tight and busy schedules and long hours in school (which means I will then have to spend more time with schoolmates) doesn't necessary mean that I'm neglecting my old friends (I just don't have that much time and energy left to keep up with them).

I've told you a million times about this issue, but you chose to stand on your own concept eventually. It left me with nothing to say anymore.

You say I don't understand; but did you even try to stand in my shoes and understand me?

I do know how you feel, friend. It doesn't exactly feel nice. And I apologize for making you feel that way.

But do you know how my life is laid out before me? Although I have limitations, I'm trying very hard to squeeze time out of each week to maintain the friendship. But it doesn't seem to be enough to you. I know we haven't been talking as much as the past when I had my holidays, but I'm still making every inch of effort to dial you up whenever the timings allow me to do so.

It's tiring, and I'm shagged. I'm not having some holiday anymore! I need time for school, for assignments, for friends, for family (gosh, they are the ones who are indeed neglected instead of friends, for your information), for God, for sleep, and for myself. I can't please everyone as I'm only human and I don't have 48hours each day.

However I guess you'll only get what I'm trying to say once you start going to school. By then you won't be shifting the entire attention span on merely just relations between people, but also towards your own future and your school life (and hopefully your family too, one day).

Please don't expect too much from me, will you? Miss you, ol' pal.

To Gina.

This post is dedicated to the cutest ugliest and noisiest monster ever - Gina the un-cute. Be honoured.

Foremost, stop doodling and drawing on my book AND MY ARM. And stop being a pervert!

Gina:
"Fill in the blanks: b__bs"

Wth.
!@#$%^&*

Anyways. You said you're snipping your hair today; and I hope the hairdresser make a boo-boo. I don't mind a shaved Jane in school later (Which reminds me, we will be having Ryan's class for 3 hours. Le sigh~).

Bwah, see! I'm dedicating one precious post to you sincerely (- not) from Joanna. I do expect some returns!

POLITICS.

Mummy and daddy.

You both are trying to play ignorant? Sure, I'll play along too. Respect have to be earned and not demanded from. It's like the government and their generic politics - Why are they even standing there with hoops of garlands? Because they DID something for the people.

Speaking about politics (not that I'm trying to be political but...), the outside party is not garbage. If they're allowed to swim in and create pros and cons together with the current group of people, we might have a better Singapore. (HAHA, I've retyped this sentence for over 5 times to make it sound appropriate and not offensive and bias. Even left out the specific names but I'm sure you guys know what I'm referring to, lol.)

I just don't get it.

And I feel for that indian man. So that's what the current group of people meant by "fix them"? Sigh.

The grannies say:
"We just have to vote for [yada] no matter what! Who are the ones who fed you rice all this while, build tiles for you to walk on, and establish Singapore Today?"

BLAR. What am I typing. I should just shut up now and go sleep. Shan't be political. Politics are evil.

Didn't think of you today ;D

Today wants me to be happy. *giggles* Eve, Xiang, Daryl, and I were supposed to catch Poseidon (however you spell that) but the spoof is, the ticketing man have hearing defects - I reckon (and is in urgent need of a hearing aid).

YES.
He gave us the wrong tickets. Found out about that only after the screening's up. We were like, uh... Are we in the right theatre? Followed by nervous shuffles and quick checks... ...

Omg.
We're watching Mission: Impossible 3. UH? However, it isn't much of a big deal - That film's awesome... ...

YADA;

YADA;

YADA;

YADA.

... ... Then I treated mum to Sakae, in which Germ and Josh tagged along. Idiots~ HAHA. No biggie, Xiang! I had LOADS of salmon too.

;P

And guess what, today I didn't think of you - I just wanted to be truely happy for one day; and I am so very proud of myself. *beams*

Asshole.

My cup overflows with bullshit and cockness. You play too much with words, you lie, you bewitch.

You ass.

I love!

10. I love my course!

9. I love my course!

8. I love my course!

7. I love my course!

6. I love my course!

5. I love my course!

4. I love my course!

3. I love my huggies ♥

2. I love the life I once had.

1. I love YOU, pillar of strength :)

Happy birthday spoof.

Someone whom have already left my life passed me today. I couldn't help but turn. Somehow it aches to see things end up this way, but I guess that's life. I wanted to wave and say hello, but it'll probably end up like the other time when I tried to do that - Getting ignored.

Anyways.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DERRICK. Thanks for wishing me happy birthday too! ;D


*psst! Dear friends, buddies, bestie, girlfriends, darlings, whatever. Do me a favor - From now ons, please don't ask me what I'm talking / elaborate about my blogthings. Thank you. :)

Grandpapa is dying.

Mama;
"Grandpapa is very ill now. I'm flying to Canada soon to visit him - Maybe for the last time."

Josh;
"He is dying?"

Mama;
"Probably. Nobody knows, only God does. Pray for him, will you?"

Josh;
"Already did. Why won't God answer our prayers?"

Mama;
"God have got His own plans for each one of us. Everyone got to leave someday, somehow. Maybe Grandpapa's time's up and God wants him back. Grandpapa suffered too much, you know?"

Josh;
"But why him and not anyone else? God could've answered our prayers!"

Mama;
"What if everyone ask the same question? Yes, God could have, but He chose not to. Picture this - A thousand people prayed to strike the lottery. If God were to answer all of their prayers, it's insane, isn't it?"



He might be leaving very soon, but we all know he won't be dead; He's just going home.
I miss you, Grandpapa.

Dear You.

Dear You.

It's 12.30 in the morning and I'm crying for myself. The bleak days which I managed to pick myself from the barren hill seems so far away. However now I'm learning to smile at the broken hearted and hold a sword with both hands.

Till date my emotions remain ambiguous. Is that a smile? Or this mask with its smooth contour? I don't know and I guess there's no need for me to know.

It's over.
:)

It seems like I'm stalling and falling, crashing and crushing. Just... everything at the same time. You made me hurt myself so much that I got used to using tears to cleanse my face.

Recalling the few months before the string snap, we were so frighten, you were so cold. Winter crept in like silent falls, and before we knew anything could happen, the heartless snow came falling and it smashed hearts with every stone bearing.

We had our last words, and I began soaking myself in the cold bathroom with the scissor in my hand. Gas became an option too and it nearly savour me with its hidden devil.

I wanted things to be the same, I wanted to get on my knees and plead just because you failed to comprehand that all I need is one last lie to keep me going - That we ever existed.

But now I understand why God didn't make us happen. We were never One to begin with.



f4ngst3r;
Aww. But no worries, sweets. You can try out private school (some of my friends are doing that!) which offers awesome courses (and links to getting a degree!). The fees are kinda steep but it's worth it, really. Adding to that, the amount isn't much a difference compared to poly-then-overseas-uni. Last words, check the papers! ;D And photobucket?

passerby & nameless;
My blog song's [I Am Cow] by Arrogant Worms. Cuteness, isn't it? ;P

Eve, Manda, Xiang, Daryl, Bert, Ron, GW;
You sweets made me smile. Thank you!

ginaJANE;
Yes. I can't wait to be mean to you. MONSTER.

TODAY <3

Art <3

Top ten reasons why I love today:

10. I didn't exactly miss the bus - Finally, for once.

9. It rained! It rained! It RAINED!

8. Art class was awesome. Totally. ;D

7. We were realeased an hour early today!

6. That huge poopthing's GONE. *giggles*

5. My hair's growing (I hope). I can feel it in my bones.

4. DON'T HAVE TO WEAR FRIGGING SHOES TODAY! Yayness!

3. Mum cooked spaghetti (adding to that's handmade meatballs)!

2. I curbed my weakness in getting online. Now that's an applause I hear. ;D

1. You made me hate the rain; but now I'm falling in love with it all over again.

I HATE SHOES!

Now's an emo 10.30pm. So much's gushing into my blood stream like an epinephrine rush. It feels like static.

Thought I saw Someone today, and it affected me alot (which added to my already-assholic day). It was THAT bad that I even suggested myself to get all self-contained and do my photography alone; I didn't want to explode or get all emotional, you know. Especially when semi-strangers (or friends) are there.

At a sidenote (or bluntly, HOWEVER), I couldn't do that anyway, even if I wanted to. We friggingly need a 'subject' (which is, yes, the highlight) for all the pictures taken. In case you're like, wthareyoutalkingabout, what I'm trying to say is... The 'subject' must be a matter, which yes, requires human, if not object (which doesn't look that appealing).

Well.

The day's frustrations started off with the alarm clock. It friggingly rang at 8.15am, which was supposed to be the time I LEAVE home for school (but at a brighter side of stuff, I broke my record and prepared for just 15 minutes! Gosh, I think I am superb!). Blar! The bus must've hated me hell lot - It drove away RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. Wth? How mean. So I waited.

And waited;

and waited;

and waited.

!@#$%^&* That's why I hate bus 61. It's always so WOLS.

Man, I was nearly late! In addition to the shoot-and-die morning, my shoe bit me (how evil)! It hurts. :( And thus, for the entire day I walked around like a cripple.

So yea, I took photos all around school (with my zombie wounded feet and almost unbearable heavy bag).

OH OH OH! I saw Xing, Chris, and Norman! It feels awesome bumping into them. Well, actually, to be specific, Xing yelled across the road at me for my attention. Gosh, how I missed her.

Back from sidetracking.
Studio Production was enjoyable (though at a certain point of time I felt like I could kill somebody with the camera). I was asked to host and interview Gina (in the studio with the lightings, camera, audio... you know, the sorts? How cool is that!) and everything turned out insane and damningly l o l.

I HATE SHOES.



(I know this post is darn droning and long and I-don't-know-what, but TOO BAD.)
(I'm kinda lazy and I guess I'm not gonna continue with the updates of the previous post. Tsk tsk!)

doh.

This post have not been fully completed yet. I'm feeling rather lazy right now so I guess I'll continue with it tomorrow.

Posting pictures up on Blogger is friggingly slow. Annoying.















Poke my armpit here.