LESSON ON ENVY

I'm learning to deal with negative feelings, like envy and jealousy.

Envious of normal stuff. Women with more successful careers, things like that. I'm finding that if you try to resist your envy, it sticks around. But if you accept it as natural, don't judge yourself, and leave it as part of God's big plan for you, it will pass, like a cloud.

MARRIAGE

My advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage, by Gerald Rogers.

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had

1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again.  You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

FORGIVENESS

Unforgivingness is the elixir of the wounded heart; a bewitching balm that only appears to soothe our pain. But in truth—it is a deadly poison that corrodes the vessel containing it from the inside out.

As long as this unforgiving chain exists, there will always be something or someone to give it a tug that will pull you back to revisit once again every horrible thing that has happened to you; to help you reclaim over and over your victim status and be swallowed up in anger or bitterness or self-pity. This is the power of unforgiveness.

It is the highest form of slavery holding you under the power of your offender and causing you to relive over and over again the abuse, the words, the pain, the rejection. It causes us to withdraw from others and build a wall around us in an effort to protect ourselves from further hurt and disappointment.

It's an evil cycle --

First we start to bury our feelings. Things that are buried are forgotten. And things that are forgotten are never dealt with. People will go to great lengths to suppress their hurt or cover it up. It is sometimes easier to deny feelings than to face or deal with the pain. The thought of confrontation may be terrifying because it usually means experiencing more conflict, more rejection, and more disappointment. Keeping silent, and withholding forgiveness can be an agonizing experiencing.

King David expressed it this way, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.” (Psalm 32:3-4)

Then silently by ourselves we start to plot our revenge, either outrightly or in stealth. We start to act on our bad feelings. The instinct for revenge can be so powerful that we make the wrong choice to return evil for evil.

But we will never get satisfied out of our little acts of revenge. Soon we start to build walls around us. We begin to withdraw from others in an effort to protect ourselves from further hurt and disappointment. Walls of hardness go up to prevent anyone from getting close enough to see our vulnerability. These walls can become so thick there is no opening in our heart to allow us to give or receive love.

And then behind our thick walls, we start to identify ourselves as victims. And this spawns feelings of fragility and an inability to cope. Our emotions become like an “eggshell” so that the very least offence will crush us and cause us to retreat into ourselves, or to react explosively.

We can never get out of it. We start to revisit the offense again and again. When offences are buried or hidden in the closet of our heart, it is much easier to revisit that hurtful event; to go back and rehearse over and over again what happened to you. Rehearsing an offence feeds and strengthens bitterness and self-pity and perpetuates the “victim” mentality.

Ultimately, we become offensive ourselves. This bitterness keeps our pain alive to the point that we may find ourselves wanting to inflict that same hurt on others.

But Jesus is clearly telling us that withholding forgiveness cuts off that relational flow of God’s mercy that we all so desperately need. We become like a ship cut loose from its anchor—drifting aimlessly and without hope on a sea of bitterness and anger.

Forgiveness and love are like Siamese twins. They can never be separated. Loving someone you have forgiven may be difficult, but true forgiveness will make such a sacrifice. True forgiveness breaks down walls and ushers love into our hearts; it builds bridges, not walls.

“But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.” Philippians 3:13

SELF LOVE

But as it stood, I disliked myself deeply and could only find faults in the person I was becoming. I had no respect for myself and, because he chose to love me anyway, I lost respect for him.

You cannot come to someone else as a puzzle with a few crucial pieces missing and expect that they will fill it over with whatever spares they happen to have around. Because we are not mechanics. We are not here to fix someone’s own view of themselves, and convince them that what we see is what is real. Self-love is a complex journey requiring of just as much time and effort and attention as the love we give to someone else, and it isn’t something that we will magically find when someone tells us that we should feel it.

I had run to him because I wanted to believe that I was lovable, that I could find something, that a relationship could be my one “thing” in life that I was good at. But he was in that relationship, too, and deserved just as much back from me as he was offering. When I realized that I couldn’t give it, and likely never would be able to until I proved to myself that I was good and capable on my own, I had to leave. But that’s never easy to explain.

Sometimes we say that we met people at the wrong time. But maybe we meet them when we are the wrong person, when we have not yet met and fallen in love with ourselves. We are only half of a thing — even if we can imagine that there is a better version of us out there — and we are hoping that someone else will fill in the missing parts so that we don’t have to.

DATING IS FOR MARRIAGE, NOT EVANGELISM.

Word.

Some guys think it’s unkind, or unfair to break up with a girl just because she’s not a Christian. The reality from God’s perspective is that it was unkind and unfair to start the wrong relationship with her in the first place. So are you going to falsely “be nice”, or are you going to be true to her by being obedient to your God? - WVD, The Christian Pundit 

Find someone who will be happy to understand and support any long hours or commitments at Church, encourage your family to walk in the word of God and help organize family worships and bible study... In short, someone who will support you in your spiritual life instead of impeding it.

We need to pray for wisdom in choosing a life partner.

HOW WE LET PEOPLE GO

"There is a specific feeling which exists only when you run into someone about whom you had long forgotten. It’s probably most palpable when it’s an ex, but it can happen with friends who were once particularly close. It is comparable to a scab that seems to have been on your skin forever — a scrape which was once quite painful but has been so long in the healing process that you no longer notice its presence when you wash over it in the shower. You peel it off almost out of boredom and suddenly there is a drop or two of blood, something that vaguely resembles the wound it once was, now too distant to really cause any discomfort. These people are wounds which have healed over, which have never quite turned into scars but which have become just another part of your lived-in body. 

Letting someone go — when it is a necessary act of self-preservation, something that has to come if you expect to move forward in life — is regarded as a kind of victory. You have successfully overcome an emotional trauma that once surrounded you like a kind of fog which prevented you from ever seeing the sun. People will tell you, always with the best intentions, that one day you are going to wake up and realize that you are okay, and your life is not immediately over because they are no longer a part of it. And this is true, though it’s not the net positive that we are so quick to label it as. Because it’s not as though you simply wake up one day and proclaim yourself fine, suddenly hearing birds chirp and children laugh after months of only your own oppressive silence. You simply start to forget, feeling the acute pain of the loss less and less as each day goes on. There will come a day when you don’t care, but you won’t notice it, because you will have other things to think about. 

But in order to let that pain go, in order to remove this person from the place of power they have occupied for so long, you must let everything go. Perhaps in a very distant future, you will be able to pick and choose the memories you want to keep, but for a very long time, one memory will always bleed into another. You cannot simply think about the time the two of you sat on the beach for an entire night, talking about your childhood, drinking the second-least-expensive wine you could find in the store. Because when you allow yourself to think about that, it will remind you of them as a whole, and will lead into all of the terrible things that happened after that night — not the least of which being their eventual departure. They exist within us as whole people, stories with beginnings and endings, and in order to let go of them we cannot choose the things we want to isolate for nostalgia. 

We have to stop caring what they would think if they saw us, stop worrying about running into them in the store, stop obsessing over the things we could have done differently to make them stay. And that means letting go of everything they meant to us, proving to ourselves that life can be just as good, just as beautiful, without them in it. When you realize, long after the fact, that you no longer care about someone — that what they are doing in life has no bearing on you, and vice versa — it feels very much like a small death. Who they were with you no longer exists, and you cannot even preserve it in your memory, for the sake of your own mental health. 

I recently ran into someone I used to know very well. I hadn’t seen him in close to two years, and I barely recognized him when I crossed him on the sidewalk. I had forgotten that it was his neighborhood, had forgotten that we used to eat there, forgotten it all. And he looked different, different enough to be slightly unsettling. We exchanged words, but as people who had barely ever known each other. It was a spoken confirmation that things had indeed changed — that we had let one another go, out of necessity — and that the parts of ourselves we needed to erase to move on were just going to have to be forgotten. Of course, you never really forget anyone, but you certainly release them. You stop allowing their history to have any meaning for you today. You let them change their haircut, let them move, let them fall in love again. And when you see this person you have let go, you realize that there is no reason to be sad. The person you knew exists somewhere, but you are separated by too much time to reach them again. 

We told each other we should get coffee sometime, but didn’t exchange our new numbers. We knew we weren’t going to see each other again." 

-- Chelsea Fagan

It's interesting how our brain works. In order to protect ourselves, it actually puts nostalgic and hurtful memories at the back of our heads. And with time they actually disperse and float away, and get released from the backdoor. So subtly we often don't even notice. The brain selectively keeps certain memories and the rest just simply fade away.

Sometimes I look back at my old crush or ex or friend and realize... I do vaguely remember them and certain pivotal moments we had together, but the exact pain or happiness that I had at that point of time felt really distant. Can't even remember most of the things we used to like or do together. These people are no longer as important as they used to be to me, and that certain hurt don't hurt anymore.

I guess it's important that our brain releases those memories. That's when we move on. And for newer and more important memories to come in, the old one has to go. It's not up to us to select which memories to keep and which has to go. Our brains do the selection. That's just how our brains work.

Memories that halt us from moving on don't last.

They slowly disappear.

CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO CONNECT WITH THE WORLD

In response to my previous post about my take on post-breakup, I'm listing out 10 things you got to do during that mournful period.

Here's the list --

1. Get off your butt and get out of the house.
Being weepy is not sexy. Instead, go run or swim and perform anything that does not include sitting on your couch and moping. Uh, check.

2. Get a gym membership.
Oh yea, signing on to Pilates does get my mind off things. Because the reformer itself makes me want to die rather than wondering if I'm going to die alone. Check.

3. Improve your brain.
Warped with work and re-watching old classics makes me mad. So mad that I'm not sane enough to miss anybody. Check.

4. Get caught up on your reading list.
Remember that new year's resolution that you've written some time ago and never got down to relief them? Well here's the time to do it. But screw Straits Times. Check.

5. Go out with your friends.
So much that I don't even have time for myself and hanging out with me requires advanced booking. (Y) I'm just kidding, so you know. Check.

6. Start a diary and see your therapist again.
I've started like 4 diaries so far, all of which have yet to continue. Okay, I'm restarting on Day 1. Dear Diary. Organizing the mess of my life keeps my lifestyle in check. Sorting out my emotions makes me feel like my life is making sense again. So, check.

7. Obsess about your friends' problems instead.
Okay, this probably isn't healthy. But this helps renewing your friendship and get your mind off your own problems. Talking about killing two birds with a stone. Check.

8. Start hunting for new places to chillax.
All that cafes and secret hideouts that I've been visiting... oh yeah. You can sip on your Earl Grey whilst thinking about your next script idea. Life hasn't been this good. Check.

9. Create new music playlists.
Loud music that kills your ears with too much power and awesomeness. Music that makes you want to kill someone. Music that makes you want to run even faster or skip even more. Music that makes you so mad that you forget about being mad at yourself for making the wrong decisions. Check.

10. Start dating other people.
Well... Check.

AND SUCH IS LIFE

When you're in your teens --

Hanging out: Given that The School generally arrange the get-togethers for you and your girlies, there is little or virtually no planning and stressing on your part. Everything, from gossipping at the hall's backstage with watching horror flicks accompanied with canned clams - is free, exciting, and the best thing you've ever done. When you're 13, even a trip to the neighborhood mall for some neoprints and student-discounted movies, is enough to thrill you. And you are absolutely sure that you guys are going to be Best Friends Forever.

Growing Old: Adding numbers to your age during this time is a pretty strange feeling. You learn things like falling in love for the first time, competing with results and the class you end up with, exchanging handwritten letters that gossip about the bitch that stole your crush. Some advance pretty fast, some not. Even a few months' difference in advancement can seem like years. Like if one of you happens to stop liking Green Day before the other one has fully moved on to Nine Inch Nails. Well, things are not going well, but you are still certain that you are still going to be Best Friends Forever.

Saying Goodbye: Breaking up with a friend at 16 is actually pretty impactful and profound. This is the age when you start to understand concepts like loss, remorse, and longing, all while sitting in front of your television and missing having someone to watch it with you. If they graduate into a college whilst you chose your path in a diploma, it's like a huge part of you just disappeared overnight. And you have to re-learn to do everything without them, and learn to make new friends. The friends we lose during this phase of life often stick with us all our lives, kept as a perfect, nostalgic image of something truly innocent and happy. Best Friends Forever now no longer applies.


Now, when you're in your twenties --

Hanging Out: It really depends on how well you're doing - and this could vary from "Sushi Tei is gonna be my most expensive meal of the year" to "For the salary I'm making, I deserve some fine dining, baby". There are so many things friends will end up doing... or not doing. Your favorite hangout buddy might even change. And hanging out on a regular basis now requires planning, organization, and time. And the ability to sacrifice and travel all the way down to the other person's apartment. Suddenly weeding out which friends who are not worth it becomes all too easy especially when they live across the city.

Growing Old: Things are getting harder when you're aging with a friend who is not aging at the same pace. Some graduate a little earlier and got a head start in a pretty decent job, some got married and all your facebook feeds are pictures of weddings and honeymoons, which is totally awesome - except when it happens to your friend and not you, or vice versa. Either way, someone is going to be thrust into a new phase of their life and, no matter how much they insist that "things aren't going to change", they totally are. And they should. Life changes are important, and a great thing. I just hurts to see it happen and you're not all on the same page. Because you know some part of that friendship is going to end up left behind.

Saying Goodbye: While it can be anything from a huge fight you cannot get past to being too different to stay together, breakups are terrible. When you're an adult, you always try to convince yourself that friends come and go from our lives for a good reason. But having that someone who understood you perfectly made growing up so much easier, and having to face all that responsibility and bleakness without them can be extremely painful. Such goodbyes will haunt you for a long time, and you'll often find yourself considering sending them a text, just wanting to ask how they're doing, and maybe grab a coffee if they're free.


And such is life.

MY TAKE ON POST-BREAKUP

"Never underestimate the pain of a person, because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are just better at hiding it than others." -Will Smith

The best way to not get your heart broken is pretending you don't have one. Since 16 June I've been escaping and pretending that this breakup has zero impact on me... Trying to smile when all I want is to wallow in my blanket and sip on Earl Grey. I mean, I have like, NO RIGHTS to be upset. I was the one who initiated the breakup, no?

It's not like from today onwards I'm not gonna act like this fool again, but I'm trying to come to terms with it. One day I will stop numbing and escaping and deal with it. Slowly but surely.

Here's what this breakup taught me --

1. Friends are too damn important.

I'm too emotional these days. It's getting on my own nerves. And I'm sure my buddies' ears are bleeding from my excessive yo-yo mood. One moment it seems like I'm all smiles and nothing's bothering me, and the next I'm feeling all emotional and teary and empty and lame. But I thank God for them. Friends are a God-send.

2. I'm not a failure.

Just because my relationship didn't work out the way I hope it would be, doesn't mean I'm a failure. I'm not a failure just because nobody ask me out on a Friday night. I'm not a failure just because my shoot didn't go as it was planned to be. I'm not a failure just because I'm feeling emotional all the time. My self worth should not be built on what I've tried to accomplish. Those things are temporary, and I should be happy and move on. You're as happy as you allow yourself to be, so why be unhappy?

3. We hurt others more often than we know it.

I've hurt my ex boyfriend so hard and so heartless. It's often not until things are over, and the dust has settled on everything that transpired, that we can see the places where we took a wrong turn without even knowing it. This is especially so when you're with someone for a really long time, and we sometimes take them for granted and treating them really badly with piercing words and action. But it's something we must not forget. And more often than not, words actually hurt more than any action.

4. Changing of environment doesn't necessarily fix things.

Shortly after the breakup, everything around me serves as a painful and unbearable reminder of what I used to have. And there is this desire to get away from it all. I start to avoid the places I used to love, find new hagouts, take new routes, meet new people. But unfortunately and sadly, the pain is still not going away. This small break from my usual routine (of visiting those spots, or even habits like receiving a text first thing in the morning) only help temporarily. But ultimately the change has to come from me. I should stop avoiding it or one day I might just burst into tears.

5. I might have forgotten who I truly am.

Staying too long in the comfort zone has made me lost track of who I wanted to be. I was working towards my goals when someone just came in and changed everything and made me complacent. When knots get tangled along the way, we often lose sight of what we wanted, how we did things, or even what we liked before meeting them. Then this breakup came along, and it serves as a splash of cold water, reminding how far I've come from where I wanted to be. I start to re-learn and re-love myself, to follow my own dreams. It is painful - but it does make you grow.

6. Temporary fixes are just... yes, temporary.

They won't make the process of heartache go any faster. No matter how much you hate to bawl every night when you wake up, when you eat, when you exercise, when you shower, when you take a bus, when you work, when you get home, when you're with your friends, when you're sleeping (okay enough), it's just something you got to live with every day until you're over it. Numbing it with activities, constant socialization, or dating just to date, are all temporary fixes to a problem that is going to have to be dealt with eventually. There is only so far we can run from things that exist inside of us, and no amount of pushing things out of your mind or pretending like they didn't happen will give you a pass from accepting it. These are lessons to be learned, and though they may hurt to think about, we can't just erase a big part of our lives.

7. I'll actually be okay.

I've gotten my heart crushed so many times. And every time it felt like the world is ending and that this catastrophe is going to last forever. It's like a dark tunnel that we wallow in, and sometimes we'd rather linger in the darkness than get out and move forward. But you know what? We eventually will. Till then we will realize that even this moment of pain has its end.

8. Love yourself and indulge in self therapy.

Whatever makes you feel good, do it - Dancing naked in your room, eating leftover food straight from the refrigerator, try new clothes and styles, adopt a new kickass hobby, get a new (hot) body and admiring it in the hot shower, watch any cheesy films and cry your heart out. And never apologize. Love yourself and making yourself feel good is worthy. This will repair you. You have every excuse to feel amazing.

9. Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving.

Meeting friends everyday to distract myself from being too emotional is too tiring. Since I'm single right now, I should embrace this freedom and this new lease of life and learn to be independent. Love yourself before you can love others. Word. And learn to accept this new life being alone and in love with yourself. Once we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.

10. Love will find me again.

So what if one day the guy I'm seeing doesn't seem to like me as much as I do? So what if I feel neglected and unwanted? Stop worrying 'cos it doesn't solve anything. And stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right. Truly, lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along. Eventually all the pieces will fall in place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and know that everything happens for a reason.

In all, don't let today's disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow's dreams. 

This breakup has taught me that you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. And God has been faithful to me, giving me the comfort no human can give. I'm Superwoman, I will be alright.